we will not be shaken.

^{Psalm 64
5} Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
   my hope comes from him.
⁶ Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
   he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Today was a really hard day for all of us.  When we arrived at the hospital, Dad was in and out of it, morphine still dripping into his veins, mumbling in his sleep, and needing oxygen.  Being in that room, seeing him like that, made me feel cold inside and I couldn't stop myself from shaking.

Mom, Melissa, Lura & I met with Dr. Reddy.  He is still waiting for the biopsy results from the tissue they took out of Dad's right leg last Friday.  He's hoping that will confirm his Angiosarcoma diagnosis.  He said that his main focus is to get Dad rehabilitated...up and walking...able to go to either inpatient rehab or home and then start chemotherapy.  He said he thinks it'll be about a month 'till that gets started.  That sounds way too far off for me.  He feels that Dad is too weak to move somewhere else right now.  (I wish we owned a helicopter!)  He does not object to getting a second opinion.  We talked about things like living wills, durable medical power of attorneys, hospice, comfort, quality of life...all necessary but none of which I imagined having to talk about so soon.  Dad doesn't want to know details so I won't put them on here (for now) but he's anxious for his girls to get working on getting a second opinion.  Lura told him we're already on it.

They took him off of morphine after I left and Lura said he was doing great.  He was awake, alert, sitting up in the bed.  He ate over half of a sandwich (which is alot for him right now) and then ate some of his dinner when they brought it.  Physical Therapy came in and did some in-room therapy with him and Lura said she couldn't believe how well he did.  His pain is mostly coming on the right side even though he just had surgery on the left side yesterday. 

So, for now, we will work on making contact with the doctors whose names have been given to us.  Tomorrow, I will speak with Dr. Reddy about who we want to see, who he thinks we should see, whether or not Dad needs to be seen or if we can simply send someone all of this information and have them make a decision based on that.  Please pray for wisdom and clear direction for all of us.  It seems to me as though Dad is ready to start fighting. 

Tonight (and I'm speaking here for my Mom & sisters, too) we are all exhausted.  We're tired, emotionally & physically.  We're craving more detailed answers with more hope and we're not getting that.  Yet again, in all of this, we have hope and rest in our God.  He is our rock, our fortress, our mighty salvation.  We will not be shaken.