Bearing up our burdens...

"Bear up one another's burdens and thus fulfil the law of Christ."  Galatians 6.2

 

This is exactly what you have been doing for us.  You're praying when we don't know what to pray and that means so much to us.  Sometimes, I find myself lying in bed wanting to pray and I just can't...or I pray the same 10 words over and over...and then I relax...knowing that you're intereceeding before the throne on our behalf and instead of struggling to pray, I sing a song of praise as I drift off to sleep...

 

Last night, as tired as I was from being up all night with Dad, I couldn't pray...sleep wasn't coming easily.  I kept thinking about his surgery in the morning, knowing I wouldn't be there, wondering if I should just skip one more day of school with the boys and go...but I needed to be home.  Even without me there (wink-grin) Dad's surgery was very successful and he was back in his room by about 10.  He wanted to talk to me but the morphine pump kept him from really being able to do so.  He was prescribed muscle relaxers for the bothersome spasms he was having and will get a sleeping pill tonight.  Mom is staying with him and she needs to rest.  He just can't seem to sleep more than 15 minutes without calling out, needing a drink, etc...  Please continue to pray for peaceful rest for him, and for Mom.  Tomorrow, Lord willing & weather permitting, Melissa, Lura, Mom & I will meet with Dr. Reddy to talk about what comes next.  Please pray for safety.

 

My time at home proved to be useful as I was able to do some research on this blasted Epithelial Angiosarcoma.  There's not much out there.  I found a support group through whom I found a facebook group and am already in touch with a sweet woman, about my age, who is battling Angiosarcoma of the breast.  She put me in touch with another sweet woman from Lancaster (can you believe that!) who lost her husband to Angiosarcoma not too long ago.  I now have, thanks to Corrie & Brenda, an address for a Harvard doctor to send slides to for a 2nd opinion, and some good questions to ask Dr. Reddy.  I also found a website for rare cancers that is so helpful...when I emailed this site, I got an email back right away from a doctor who actually took the time to read my blog, send me a wonderful note of encouragement along with scripture, and is going to check with colleagues to see if anyone has anything for me.  He even asked me to let him know what the plan is after tomorrow's meeting.  Lastly, after emailing a sarcoma researcher at MD Anderson Cancer Ctr. in Houston, I was referred to a sarcoma specialist who emailed me back directly and recommended a specific doctor at Fox Chase who is not only a Sarcoma specialist but who is conducting research.  Wow!

 

I was so surprised to be able to get this much information when I started out finding nothing online but you know what?  I need to stop being surprised.  God has nothing but good in store for me, even when it hurts, and He continues to let these "mercy drops" (thank you, Sharon) fall on me every single time I'm at the point of feeling like I'm losing it.

 

Thank you seems like such a small thing to say to each of you for all you've done.  Please know that I mean it and that I love you all dearly.

Morning by morning, new mercies I see...

Brennan and I spent the night with Dad last night and got very little sleep.  Dad is just not sleeping well...he's up talking, mumbling, checking the time, etc... every few minutes.  Our longest stretch was about an hour.  Brennan was on the hospital cot and I was on an air mattress.  Needless to say, I'm very, very tired.  We got home from the hospital about an hour ago.

Tomorrow morning, at 7:30, Dad will have surgery to implant a rod into his left femur.  I was suprised they're doing this so quickly as he is in alot of pain and finding it very difficult to move.  He could barely tolerate my pulling up his sock this morning.  Yet tonight, all of a sudden, he wanted to get up out of bed and into a wheelchair to take a walk.  It took about 15 minutes and the help of 3 nurses for him to do so but he did.  When we left, he was still sitting in the wheelchair looking at a book about cars (from our dear friends, Judy & Alan).  If you know my Dad, you know he loves cars!

Today was a good day with alot of visitors.  So many of you have been asking what you can do to help and you've done so much.  If you are able to visit him, he would love that!  Let me know when you're planning on going so I can tell you where he is...he's moved twice so far.

I'm sorry this update is so short but I need to get some sleep.  I will send a more detailed update tomorrow after he's out of surgery.  Until then, please pray for a peaceful night of sleep for him and Mom (she's staying with him tonight) and that God would be merciful as far as this second surgery goes.  Thank you all for your love, prayers & support...we love you all!!!

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

He has heard our weeping...

This morning started with a glimmer of hope.  A call came in to Dad's room saying that an orthopedic-oncologist was coming in to see him and that there was some chance that he may be able to remove the tumors from his femur.  Minutes later, he arrived in Dad's room, after reviewing his test results and told Mom & Dad that that was not an option since he does not feel the tumors in his hips/legs are the primary source of cancer.  He agreed that the best next step was to insert the rod into Dad's right femur and get started with chemotherapy and radiation.  He said that in all of his years of experience he's only seen 2,maybe 3, cases of this kind of cancer.

Dad had surgery early this afternoon and everything went very well.  There was mention at first of them implanting rods into both legs at once but the orthopedist later said that that would be too much surgery for Dad to handle in one day.  There were big concerns about blood loss since this cancer is a cancer of the blood vessels but Dad only needed a very small amount of blood during surgery.  The surgeon was able to get a large sample to send to pathology so that they can reconfirm the diagnosis and do some tissue-typing to see if the chemo team can get any hints into how to tread Dad.  He was in considerable pain after moving to his new room in orthopedics but once he had some pain medicine he was much more comfortable.  He ate a very small amount of dinner but drank his Ensure, as he promised us he would.  Dr. Reddy (his oncologist) came in to say that he wanted Dad to take the weekend to recover and start some rehab.  Mentions were made of having surgery on his left leg on Monday but I doubt that will happen at this point.  It doesn't seem nearly as urgent as the surgery on his right leg was. 

I did what I said I wouldn't do and googled Epithelial Angiosarcoma.  I didn't like what I found.  I should have just waited for the doctors to explain everything to us. Here's a small part of what I read:

Angiosarcomas as a class are very rare - they represent only 1 percent of all sarcomas - and epithelioid angiosarcomas represent only a fraction of the total number of angiosarcomas that occur each year. Since there are about 7,000 cases of sarcoma in the United States each year, the incidence of angiosarcoma is under 100 individuals, and that of epithelioid angiosarcoma even smaller - possibly amounting to only a handful of individual cases each year. Angiosarcoma in some parts of the body is so rare that less than a dozen cases have ever been described in the world scientific literature.

So we find ourselves asking where in the world this came from.  Dad asks if it was something he did, something he worked around.  Was it on the farm?  Was it in the trash?  This, truly, is not important.  What is important is that God has allowed this ugliness into our lives.  The One who loves us enough to die for us will never leave our side.  He has heard our weeping and our cries for mercy, and he has accepted our prayers.

Thank you for walking beside us down this dark road.  Thank you for caring for our children, feeding our pets, buying us groceries, shoveling our walks and snowblowing our driveways.  Thank you for letting us cry on your shoulders and for taking time to cry out to the Lord on our behalf.  Your prayers have been used to help us keep our heads lifted and God's mercies to us have been new every morning.

Psalm 6¹ LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
   or discipline me in your wrath.
² Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am faint;
   heal me, LORD, for my bones are in agony.
³ My soul is in deep anguish.
   How long, LORD, how long?
 ⁴ Turn, LORD, and deliver me;
   save me because of your unfailing love.
⁵ Among the dead no one proclaims your name.
   Who praises you from the grave?
 ⁶ I am worn out from my groaning.
   All night long I flood my bed with weeping
   and drench my couch with tears.
⁷ My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
   they fail because of all my foes.
 ⁸ Away from me, all you who do evil,
   for the LORD has heard my weeping.
⁹ The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;
   the LORD accepts my prayer.
¹⁰ All my enemies will be overwhelmed with shame and anguish;
   they will turn back and suddenly be put to shame.

no news is ... well ...

Surgery was postponed again today.  First we were waiting for clearance from Dad's cardiac group, which was closed due to the snow.  Then they did a STAT Echocardiogram that took 5 hours to get results from, and then a trauma came in that called for the orthopedic surgeon.  So, after 2 full days of fasting, Dad had a small dinner and will,  hopefully, get a good night's sleep. 

He is, again, an add-on for surgery tomorrow but we're hoping they'll actually schedule him.  It can't hurt to ask, right?

He's frustrated but doesn't want to be.  Please keep praying...

calm in the storm...

Just a quick update...

Lura & Jonas made it home safely to Reading.  Doug is home safely from Pottstown (although, he has to be back @ the hospital to open at 4:30am...please pray for safety).  I am safely home, checking emails, enjoying some quiet alone time with my favorite coffee.  Mom & Melissa are staying in Lancaster tonight.  LGH has graciously given our family the use of an apartment, free of charge, less than 1/2 block from the door of the hospital. 

Dad's angiogram went very well.  They were able to embolize (stop blood supply to) the tumors both at the top and bottom of his right femur.  They also inserted coils into the left leg to prevent blood clots.  He is having some discomfort in his right leg, as was expected, as well as where they inserted the catheter into his left groin. 

Tomorrow, Dad will again be an add-on for surgery to insert the rod into his right femur.  My wonderful in-laws took Liam and Landis home with them so that, once the roads are clear, Brennan and I can head up to be with him.  If I know the surgery time in advance, I'll send a quick update.  Otherwise, I'll update once Dad is out of surgery and back to his room.  I'm hoping that by then we'll have had a chance to talk to Dr. Reddy to get a better feel for what the next steps will be.

Until then, the storm rages on outside but we will rest secure in the promises of the One who is able to calm the storm.  God bless each of you for taking the time to read this and to pray for our family.  You mean more to me than you know.

 Psalm 107²⁸ Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
   and he brought them out of their distress.
²⁹ He stilled the storm to a whisper;
   the waves of the sea were hushed.
³⁰ They were glad when it grew calm,
   and he guided them to their desired haven.

unwelcome interruptions...

Surgery cancelled.  Angiogram ordered.  The doctors are concerned that what they thought was Carcinoma is more likely Angiosarcoma...a word that I'm fighting against "Googling".  Surgery was cancelled because this type of cancer normally has alot of vascular involvement and the surgeon was concerned about excessive, even fatal, bleeding if he continued on with surgery.  An angiogram will be performed sometime this afternoon.  At that time, they may even be able to block blood supply to the large tumor in Dad's right femur.

Dr. Reddy met with my sisters & I this morning.  He is a kind and compassionate man who has a big load on his shoulders with regards to Dad's care.  Should he work on getting Dad moved to a multi-faceted facility so that sarcoma-specialists, neuro-oncologists, and an orthopedic oncologist can all get involved, as well as a vascular specialist if needed?  Is this something he's knowledgeable enough to handle?  What treatments are available?  He told us that he spoke with an Angiosarcoma specialist at Univ. of Penn who advised him to do the angiogram, insert the rod into his leg, and begin rehabilitation to get him strong enough to move if needed.

Dad's insurance is accepted at Hershey Medical Center, The Hospital of the Univ. of Pennsylvania, and at Johns Hopkins.  Dr. Reddy is researching which of those is the best option. 

Please continue to pray for Mom & Dad...this hit them both quite hard this morning.  Dad found comfort in my reading Psalm 23 to him and inserting his name where David wrote "my".  Please pray for Dr. Reddy as he has big choices to make today that will affect all of our lives. 

As for interruptions...changes...diversions, I found the following devotional and found it so, so helpful.   

Much of Jesus’ ministry was a sanctified response to interruptions. Take a typical day: After teaching a large crowd for a long time, he breaks for time alone, only to have his disciples ask him to explain his parables (Mk 4:10). That evening, while traveling in a boat, they awake him to deal with an unruly storm (Mk 4:38), and when they arrive at the other side of the lake, Jesus is confronted by a man with multiple demons (Mk 5:1-13). In each of these cases, Jesus responds immediately to those who need his help.
Many opportunities, both for serving Christ and for experiencing his provision for our own needs, come packaged in unwelcome interruptions. We need to pray constantly for alertness to these openings when they confront us. Without such awareness, we’re likely to lag behind God’s timing.

We know that God's timing is perfect.  We know that Jesus is our Savior.  I'm thankful that we're not the ones in control...I can't imagine how badly I'd mess everything up.

Surgery

Dad is scheduled for surgery at 9am.  I'm getting ready to leave for LGH now.  If anyone needs to reach me, you may call my cell or text me 610-220-8207.  I'll be checking email regularly, as well.

We covet your prayers as we travel these icy roads to be with our dear Dad.

"My God is so big, so strong and so mighty...there's nothing my God cannot do."